Luciferan's Blog

HUMOR

Be thankful you are a man!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

‘Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife

merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through.

So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. ‘

 

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman…

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate.

Awakened the kids, set out their school clothes,

Fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,

Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning,

Took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit.

Went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries,

 

Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog..

Then, it was already 1.00pm.

And he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop

the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.

Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30pm he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

 

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry.

Bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9.00pm he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to

bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

 

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:

‘Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day.

Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back.. Amen!’

 

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

‘My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.’

 

***

Smart Politician Joke

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. “OK,” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

 

 

 


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